Closet Life - Yank! and The Pride

"I'm a fighter." That's what the character Stu finally realizes at the end of act two of the new off Broadway musical Yank!. His journey to self realization is told during World War II from boot camp to deployment in the Pacific. Yank! is called "A WWII Love Story" with the tagline "Some stories don't make it into the history books" referring to the fact that Stu is gay and falls in love with one of his fellow soldiers he meets in boot camp. The story highlights not only homophobia within the military but the dangers of living in the closet way before the creation of Don't Ask Don't Tell. The closet is a devastating place and dealing with internal homophobia can be far worse. Stu falls for Mitch, the handsome fellow soldier who seems at ease in this military world, but the audience eventually realizes that Stu is the real hero. A man that is comfortable with himself and stronger for the experience of falling in love. He sings with Mitch the memorable number "A Couple Of Regular Guys" that talks about what their lives together will be like when the hell of war is over. It's hopeful and charming as they sing about living together in an optimistic America where they will be accepted for who they are. In 1940s America this story has probably been attempted and you have to admire the courage of those attempting it back then.

Yank! is not heavy handed and is quite funny. Some of the numbers fall a little flat, but there are some standouts including "Remembering You" and "Blue Twilight". The cast is great. Bobby Steggert plays Stu and I was lucky enough to see him as Younger Brother in Ragtime before it closed on Broadway. Ivan Hernandez plays Mitch and Jeffery Denan plays Artie who becomes a mentor to Stu and helps guide him on his path of self-realization. Nancy Anderson plays a variety cast of female characters and does a terrific job.

I also had a chance to see another gay-themed play recently when my friend Marty got tickets to see The Pride. This tells the story of three characters in 1958 and 2008 London simultaneously. Again it is a tale about the self destruction of the closet and the fear of allowing oneself to be true to oneself.

The character Oliver, played by Ben Whishaw, is a meek mild childrens author in 1958 and in 2008 he's a freelance journalist addicted to anonymous sex. In both cases he's trying to explore a relationship with Philip, played by Hugh Dancy. In 1958 Philip is a closeted man married to Sylvia, played by Andrea Riseborough, in 2008 he's Oliver's frustrated boyfriend. There is a really fantastic moment in the beginning of the play in which Oliver is telling a story of a recent trip to Greece. He describes the amazing beauty of Delphi and when he wanders out on his own he hears a voice calling his name telling him those sleepless nights will pass and sometime maybe years from now things will be better. Is this Oracle right? Have things gotten better? We still live in a society in which many think gay people can be "saved" and "reprogrammed". The Pride is beautifully written by Alexi Kaye Campbell and asks these questions and many more.

There seems to be several gay themed shows recently and both of these take a look at gay life in the past. Maybe by providing enough distance we can take stock of our lives today.

A NEWS FAST INTERRUPTED

A News fast can be a wonderful thing. I highly recommend it. However, it has become harder and harder to truly fast these days. I was on vacation last week in Provincetown, MA and enjoying the lobster rolls, the art galleries, the sun and especially the cocktails by the pool when I turned on the small TV in my B&B. I just felt like checking in for some reason. When I pushed the ON button the first channel that popped up was CSPAN. I was just in time to see Senator Arlen Spector’s Townhall in Lebanon PA. Oh goodie.

I was about to change the channel when I watched as a rather vocal man was intent on asking the Senator a question. He had trouble vocalizing, probably because he was nervous, but when he got his chance to speak he simply asked the Senator if he would go back to DC and represent the "true Americans.” What exactly did he mean by that? More angry voices spoke up and made it clear they “didn’t want our country to turn into Russia”. “This is the Soviet Union, this is Maoist China,” one man yelled to him. “The people in this room want their country back.” I had had enough already and turned the TV off. I was going to do my best to continue my fast. On the trip home on Sunday it was announced that the White House might give up on the Public Option. Seemed like bad news all around for Obama and the Democrats healthcare plan.

I guess I’m tired of all these disruptions and all this yelling and I’m especially over all the misinformation – thank you kindly Sarah Palin with your Death Panel rants on Facebook. Keep up the good work. Who are the “true Americans” these days? And why is it OK to do everything they can to spread rumors filled with tales of putting your grandma down? I thought these folks went away on January 20. What is going on these days in our country? I think it is what’s always been there— fear. People are afraid of things changing too fast. We have a black President. He just appointed a Wise Latina to the Supreme Court. What will he do next? What happened to my America? We are becoming a more blended melting pot of a nation as every day and every minute goes by. I think these people are afraid of losing power and there’s probably no way to reason with them.

I feel like our country is still more divided than ever. It’s still red states versus blue states I suppose. It is totally American to dissent and to fight for your rights, I feel like what’s going on at these Townhalls is not dissent because you never get the chance to hear a debate. These people seem to be only there to cause disruption and distraction. Well I’m tired of it. I feel like the Republicans are only fueling the fire. They’ve offered no clear alternatives and seem unwilling to support any kind of Healthcare reform. Also there doesn’t seem to be one Republican willing to denounce these disruptions or criticize these folks who are showing up with guns strapped to their legs. What the heck is that about? Things appear to be getting out of hand and if that continues I fear bad news all around.

I want to live in country where we debate and discuss. The Obama proposed healthcare plan is not even fully flushed out – there are several versions of the bill in both the House and the Senate that are still up for discussion – yet all the people are up in arms screaming about things that prove to be completely untrue. I personally think there should be a Public Option. I have a sister that is without affordable insurance and I think she could benefit from it. People argue that this already exists because no one can be turned away at an emergency room and they don’t want to pay to support the uninsured. Unfortunately what they don’t realize is that we are already paying for them as preventable illnesses become more serious and costly as the uninsured wait until the last minute for treatment. Lies and misinformation run rampant and only play on everyone’s fears. I want there to be more debate. Perhaps the administration is to blame by not making all this information available to quell fears, but it looks like that is starting to change. Today they launched a website to help fight the misinformation. Check out: http://my.barackobama.com/page/content/settingtherecord

Also, Obama is set to give an online press conference today at 2pm and I’ll be watching. I want to learn more. It is time for reason to triumph over confusion. I thought we made some progress in January, but it looks like it’s going to be a long road ahead to clarity.

Spring Songs - Three Troubadours: Morrissey, Ray LaMontagne & Ben Lee

Spring is trying to spring here in Manhattan and I'm walking the streets listening to a selection of three very cool new projects from three very different artists. I'm sure as I look back on these days this music will begin to define early spring 2009 in New York.

Morrissey has returned with Years Of Refusal—a collection of wonderful songs and clever songwriting. It's also a bit harder than a lot of his previous works, but still features some of the same typical Morrissey songs about love and loss. It begins with the hard edged "Something Is Squeezing My Skull" and careens it's way through "I'm Throwing My Arms Around Paris", "That's How People Grow Up" and the very funny "It's Not Your Birthday Anymore." He sounds better than ever and this album is a worthy addition to his catalog.

I saw Ray LaMontagne perform on Saturday Night Live a few weeks ago and was really impressed and inspired. I watched him perform "You Are The Best Thing" and immediately had to go get his album Gossip In The Grain. You can hear so many influences in his work—from James Taylor to Joe Cocker to Cats Stevens. It has a very 70s singer songwriter vibe that sounds really updated and new. A real stand out on the album is the track "Meg White" which sounds fantastic blasting through my headphones on my way down 23rd street.

Ben Lee has always been a favorite of mine and his latest release The Rebirth Of Venus does not disappoint. It begins with the catchy "What's So Bad (About Feeling Good)" and continues on with some great pop songs like "Wake Up To America", "Sing", "Yoko Ono", "Bad Poetry" and the sing along anthem "Surrender". "I Love Pop Music" takes on the medium itself and our need for pop music that makes us feel better in such uncertain times.

With all the crap that's going on around us right now slipping on my headphones and listening to these three troubadours continues to be a great escape from a chilly spring in New York.

Gossip In The Grain and Years Of Refusal are out now. The Rebirth Of Venus comes out on April 28.

MILK—we need him more than ever

"I am Harvey Milk and I'm here to recruit you," screams Sean Penn into a bullhorn while playing the slain San Francisco City Supervisor. Those words still resonate today. If Harvey Milk were alive today, Proposition 8 would never have seen the light of day. Harvey Milk inspired hundreds of thousands of gay people in his lifetime and now with Gus Van Sant's new film Milk he has the opportunity to reach millions more in death.

MILK begins with a collage of black and white news footage of mostly men being rounded up, handcuffed and piled into paddy wagons. Shot after shot show people burying their faces in their hands dodging the harsh lights of the news crew. One customer even throws his drink at the camera. This was the closeted life of a gay man in the late 60s/early 70s. This was a life of fear and a life without power. It's in response to that life without power that Harvey Milk finds his voice.

We first see Sean Penn as Harvey Milk as he records his thoughts to tape in the event that he is ever assassinated while in office. He begins to look back at his life and we meet him again earlier in his life. He's a closeted gay man living in New York City turning 40 and after picking up James Franco in the subway he tells him that he hasn't accomplished anything in his life. "I need to make a change, " he says. He and Franco move to San Francisco to drop out and there he does begin to change. He first becomes a business owner by opening up Castro Camera and then becomes inspired to run for City Supervisor several times until he finally wins.

Sean Penn plays his part with subtle brilliance. He's completely inspiring in moments and he captures the spirit of a masterful politician. James Franco, Josh Brolin and Emile Hirsch are also terrific as is Allison Pill as his lesbian campaign manager. Gus Van Sant does an amazing job with this film. There are a few over the top sentimental moments, but overall Milk packs a wallop. I think what really struck me the most is how what happened in 1978 still resonates today. We've come a long way baby, or maybe not.

In the film Harvey Milk is battling against Proposition 6 which was intended to discriminate against the hiring of gays and lesbians. It played upon people's fears of having their children taught by gay people. It was backed by religious leaders including the very outspoken Anita Bryant. Sound familiar? Harvey was able to organize people and defeat it. If only we had him now.

Last Saturday afternoon I attended a rally in City Hall to lend my voice in support of marriage equality and in protest of Proposition 8. I was among thousands who turned up that day in New York along with hundreds of thousands more who turned out in almost every city across the country. My friends in LA marched in the heat and my friend in Phoenix uploaded pictures to Facebook. Seems like if there's any silver lining to glean from the passage of Proposition 8, it has now galvanized and energized so many people gay and straight to take to the streets to vent their anger. It also struck me as I looked around that day at how many young people were taking part. I think that would have made Harvey Milk very proud. It was in the youth that he saw the most opportunity to inspire with hope. I think he knew that it was their voices that were the voices of the future that could most make a difference.

Near the end of the film and near the end of Harvey's actual recording he says, "If a bullet should enter my brain, let that bullet destroy every closet door." He was prophetic about his own life and prophetic in regards to many of those closet doors. We've moved forward on many issues, but it seems like with Proposition 8 we took a huge step backward. It's not about blaming any one group or organization. It's time to acknowledge that proponents of Prop 8 were better funded and better organized. The got their message out successfully. Now it's time to take a page out of Harvey Milk's book. In the film, he felt that if every gay person came out to their co-workers, friends and families then they could shatter fears and stereotypes. If they know us, then they are more likely to vote with us and support us and our cries for civil rights. We need our straight allies and we need our friends and our families to stand with us now more than ever. We could also use Harvey Milk back on our side.

Cry Baby

I spent a good part of last Tuesday crying. It started early in the morning right after I got back from voting. I turned on The Today Show and watched my candidate and his family vote in Chicago. Then Meredith had to mention how sad it was that his grandmother couldn't last one more day to see the results. That comment alone along with the images of the Obamas at the polls was enough to make me cry like a baby. After several minutes I calmed down, looked myself in the mirror and said "get it together" and left for work.

At work I was able to keep busy and distracted from the news. I looked up now and then at the TV in my office and allowed myself to marvel at the footage coming in from all of the country of lines after lines of people waiting to elect a new President. As soon as some bit of emotion started rising up in me, I looked away and did my best to concentrate on my daily chores.

I got through the day and left work a bit early to meet up with my neighbor to watch the results come in. I met him at the grocery store where we got snacks for the evening. We rushed upstairs. I didn't want to jinx anything, but I felt good enough to run into my apartment to find a bottle of Dom Perignon that I had stored away for a special occasion. The results started coming in and I was getting nervous. They hadn't called any big states yet, so I tried keeping it in perspective. I dealt with CNN's holograms and more election calls that weren't going Obama's way. We ordered pizza, our other neighbor came over and we kept calm. "Did you just see that?", I said. Florida had just started to go in Obama's favor. Then Pennsylvania turned blue. Then Ohio. 11PM came and CNN called it. Our 44th President was officially Barack Obama. Unbelievable. We opened the Dom and celebrated.

Then it hit me. All this time I was hoping and praying for this win. Battling my parents and friends. Winning some arguments and losing others. It all led up to this moment. This victory. I was exhausted, but like Obama has always said this election was never just about him. It was about all of us. That was evident from the countless live feeds from Grant Park in Chicago, Election Plaza in New York and especially the footage coming from the streets outside the White House. America was celebrating. It was a brand new day. I promptly burst into tears. My neighbor hugged me and and I let it all go. I cried and cried. I had never felt so proud to be an American.

Not only is it a complete U-turn from the last eight years, this election is a huge step forward in race relations in this country. Many people never thought they would see an African American President in their lifetime. That dream was no longer deferred and that made me cry even harder. I am a white man. I could never know the kind of struggles African Americans have gone through and keep going through each day, but I think I can empathize a bit as a gay man. I've been lucky enough in my lifetime. I've never had problems getting a job, my family accepted me point blank and I only got beat up once. That's not a huge struggle by any means. I was explaining this a bit to a girl I met at my local watering hole on Friday night. We were talking about the election and I told her that I had been a blubbering mess since. She was of mixed race herself and she understood more than me. She just turned to me and said, "It's OK baby. You've been touched by hate a little bit yourself. You understand what it's like." I guess she was right. I had been touched I suppose. I think maybe all of us have been touched by hate over the last eight years.

Barack has a lot to live up to. There's a ton of weight on that man's shoulders, but I feel confident and hopeful that things will work out. I promise to try and keep a stiff upper lip at least until January 20. I might have a little trouble that day.

RACHEL GETTING MARRIED—A WEDDING TO REMEMBER

AMEND—transitive verb 1: to put right ; especially : to make emendations in (as a text) 2 a: to change or modify for the better : improve <amend the situation> b: to alter especially in phraseology ; especially : to alter formally by modification, deletion, or addition <amend a constitution>

"Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others" Step 9 in AA's 12 Step Program

Making amends is also at the heart of the new Jonathan Demme film RACHEL GETTING MARRIED. The story written by Jenny Lumet centers around Kym, who's been in and out of rehab for ten years, returning home for her sister Rachel's wedding. Anne Hathaway is truly sensational in her portrayal of Kym Buchman. At first you want to absolutely hate her and tell her to shut up (especially during her uncomfortable toast to the bride and groom at the rehearsal dinner), but as the film progresses she breaks your heart.

The film is almost entirely filmed with hand held cameras. The result is a quiet intimate film that makes the viewer feel like they are one of the invited guests to this wedding. Mr. Demme's film career that ranges from mainstream films and documentaries to concert films and all of those skills are showcased here. Not only does he bring out amazing performances from his actors but also from the musical performers including Fab Five Freddy, Tamyra Grey, Robyn Hitchcock as well as Tunde Adebimpe (from TV On The Radio) who plays the groom. I read on the film's website that the majority of the film's extras and wedding guests are made up of Mr. Demme's friends and family. Perhaps that's what gives the film its special look and feel.

Rosemarie DeWitt as Rachel is also sensational and Bill Irwin plays their devoted father with so much overwhelming sweetness that it literally tugs at your heartstrings. Another stand out is Debra Winger as their cool and distant mother and her scene with Anne Hathaway literally hits a crescendo in the film. This film truly does belong to Ms. Hathaway and I'm sure she will be remembered at Oscar time.

RACHEL GETTING MARRIED opens Friday in New York and LA.

Jay Brannan—Queer Folk For All

It was a free download of "Half Boyfriend" on the gay blog/website Towleroad that peaked my interest in actor/singer-songwriter Jay Brannan. His voice is completely distinctive and new. It doesn't really fit any traditional mold and I thought I was alone in thinking he's the male version of Joni Mitchell, but I read that comparison on his ITunes bio. Perhaps if Nick Drake, Janis Ian and Liz Phair all were mixed up in a blender you'd get his sound and songwriting skills.

After hearing the free download, I searched for more about him and came across all of his YouTube videos. All of his homemade videos are great, but it was his video for "Housewife" that I think really stands out. Jay sings, "I want to be a housewife" and goes on to describe his perfect boyfriend/husband that he "hasn't met." The video pictures gay domestic bliss behind Jay as he sings. It's such a well written song and if sung by a female singer-songwriter it wouldn't make quite the impact as it does sung by a man to another man. I suppose this almost becomes a political statement of some kind, but I don't think that's the intention here. This is just one singer songwriter writing songs and singing from his heart and his experiences. Seems like that's nothing new, but to me it is completely refreshing and welcoming.

Some real stand out tracks to me in addition to "Half Boyfriend" and "Housewife" include "Can't Have It All", "American Idol" and "Bowlegged and Starving." Gay or straight, I don't think it makes a difference to appreciate the work on his debut album GODDAMED. Currently Jay's album is doing very well on the Itunes folk chart as the physical release came out on July 15.